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Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

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The Joint Commission Seeks LGBTQ Healthcare Experiences [Nov. 11th, 2010|04:37 pm]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

The Joint Commission, which requires hospitals to meet specific criteria in order to receive accreditation, is investigating the healthcare experiences of LGBTQ individuals in order to improve the quality of care we receive. If you have an experience to share or know of someone who might or just think you might know someone for whom this is relevant, please repost or forward this link. Or just give them the email address: lgbt@jointcommission.org


x-posted to free_speech_ftm, transohio
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Job advice? [May. 31st, 2010|10:50 am]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

This is sort of a general question, so I guess I'm just looking to hear other folks' experiences.

I'm about three months out from finally getting my degree. It's for a profession, so I do have a career all nice and in line, but during college I began transitioning and now I'm sort of "oh, crap, my old bosses don't know... how do I apply for jobs?!"

I'm lucky in that I live in a pretty decent city (Seattle) but how do folks work with this? I've also been feet-dragging on the name-change--is it at all better to leave it (as it'll match the old job records, and maybe when they call for employment verification I can pretend they will not use pronouns?) or to rush it through, as I will have a license and diploma I need to change later?

Anyway, just would love to hear other experiences on re-entering the job market. I've only recently started to be properly read so I suppose that's why I'm so dang nervous about navigating this now. Thanks, all.
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(no subject) [Apr. 10th, 2010|11:24 pm]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

so...i couldn't figure out how to pose this one to my guidance counselor, and i have no idea how i would search for this.

can anyone recommend me some trans-friendly colleges? anywhere in the united states or canada would work, hopefully in or near a metropolitan area.
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binders and passing [Mar. 11th, 2010|04:51 pm]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

I'm 16, female-bodied but still confused about gender identity and such. When I was about 14 I decided that I was definitely FTM, but since then I've changed a lot and don't have any definite answers. I don't want any kind of surgery right now (and probably can't anyway), but I still feel very uncomfortable with having breasts and a female figure. I don't think I would want to do any permanent transitioning until after I finish school next year anyway, as I couldn't cope with that sort of 'coming out' yet and I'm at a really small school so it would become a huge deal (I have in passing mentioned to a few close friends that I'm not totally comfortable with being female though). My question is this: I already have short hair and have been 'mistaken' for a boy on a few occasions due to my wearing mostly masculine clothing. Do you think wearing a binder would be enough for now for me to pass? Or would it look strange with the rest of my body? I'm not really that curvy but I do have noticeably female hips.
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Passing as a woman help? [Mar. 10th, 2010|11:39 am]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

Hey there. I'm kind of new to this community but figured I'd ask.

So I am male-bodied but want to "pass" as female more often. I'm not on hormones, and no surgery. When I want to be "female" I wear "girl's" clothes (but not any skirts or dresses, not really my thing), put on some make-up, and pull my hair back. I'm happy with how I look like that, but in public everyone still refers to me as a guy, or sir, or he. What else can I do to convince them as otherwise? I know this shouldn't be a big deal, it only really matters who I feel about everything, but then things get complicated if I want to go into a bathroom. You know?

Also what are some general "cross"-dressing tips? Like how can I make my waist smaller? I bought a bra earlier today and it fits and everything but I don't really like how it looks on me. I don't know.

Would just love to hear some suggestions. Thanks.
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oh speech class... [Feb. 25th, 2010|02:35 pm]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.
hello everyone,
so, i am giving an informational speech in class next week and i decided that my topic is going to be gender (specifically transgender people- kinda like trans101). big question though is whether or not to "come out" to my class mates. This is a college class and I am 5 years on T but it's still the beginning of the semester and i'm kinda worried about alienating myself from these people. We do however, have to mention our "credibility" when giving the speech- which would be the main reason i disclose this information at all.
any advice?
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(no subject) [Jan. 20th, 2010|06:59 pm]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

Anybody in the US know if it's possible to have an official "other name"/"also known as" without changing your legal name?
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How do you ask what's trans-friendly? [Jan. 18th, 2010|08:34 am]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

The BC Wildlife Federation has a weekend women's outdoors course that I want to get my friends to come to. I'm already a member of the organization, but I tend to get read as cissexed, and my butchness is within bounds familiar to the organizational culture (think: female tree-planters). So I don't know if it's transsexual/intersex/gender-variant inclusive or not.

How do I ask?

I could just phone up and say "I work with a lot of transsexual, intersexed and gender-variant women and I wanted to make sure this would be okay" or "I was wondering if this would be a problem." but this bothers me because it's asking permission to call ourselves women. I wouldn't phone up a restaurant and ask "Can bisexual women and lesbians use your washroom?" because it implies that "No." is a reasonable answer.

My best approach thus is "I have several friends who'd be interested in coming. Several of them are a combination of butch, intersexed and transsexual. Their experience is that while many organizations welcome them as they would any other woman, some aren't very friendly. I know that your organization is serious about doing outreach, so I figure you'd be welcoming, but I wanted to talk to you before I tell my friends that they will feel safe at your event."

I thought of also volunteering my time to help them with any questions.

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I have trouble remembering that I've changed sex [Oct. 10th, 2009|10:04 pm]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

I'm MtF and have recently finished a three-year transition, and I'm having trouble remembering that I have changed my sex.

This is a problem because I feel much happier when I remember when I'm female, and sullen and cranky when I assume that I'm still male.

The one reliable method of remembering, or at least the one I've found, is to stop for a minute, clear my head, and centre myself in my body with breathing, movement and so on. But this is form of meditation is hard to do when I'm out and about.

Part of the problem is that for years internalized the message It is impossible to change your sex. You can try, but all you'll do is destroy your life.

Complicating matters somewhat is that the range of my gender expression includes a large portion of "butch." Sometimes I can feel very much at home, handsome. sexy, and all dappered up and being mistaken for a nice young man (cissexed or transsexed). And sometimes I try to present as butch and want to peel it off like it was stuck to my skin.

Anyoneelsehave the problem that you forget that you're not stuck in the wrong gender anymore? Any advice on how to remember that I've changed sex?
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