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Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

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I have trouble remembering that I've changed sex [Oct. 10th, 2009|10:04 pm]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

hundun
I'm MtF and have recently finished a three-year transition, and I'm having trouble remembering that I have changed my sex.

This is a problem because I feel much happier when I remember when I'm female, and sullen and cranky when I assume that I'm still male.

The one reliable method of remembering, or at least the one I've found, is to stop for a minute, clear my head, and centre myself in my body with breathing, movement and so on. But this is form of meditation is hard to do when I'm out and about.

Part of the problem is that for years internalized the message It is impossible to change your sex. You can try, but all you'll do is destroy your life.

Complicating matters somewhat is that the range of my gender expression includes a large portion of "butch." Sometimes I can feel very much at home, handsome. sexy, and all dappered up and being mistaken for a nice young man (cissexed or transsexed). And sometimes I try to present as butch and want to peel it off like it was stuck to my skin.

Anyoneelsehave the problem that you forget that you're not stuck in the wrong gender anymore? Any advice on how to remember that I've changed sex?
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(no subject) [Jul. 22nd, 2009|11:20 pm]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

hundun
Psychological coping question:

Having finished transition recently, only now am I able to look back on my self-closeted period to see my coping mechanisms and pubescent body-stress reactions for what they were.

It feels like it's important to understand these, but thinking about them hurts and progress is slow. Heck, I'm not even sure what "progress" is. And I wonder sometimes if I'm just "trying to feel sorry for myself." Or if the term "just trying to feel sorry for myself" is a way our culture devalues self-honesty.

Does anyone have any ideas what I do with this?
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(no subject) [Jul. 18th, 2009|10:02 pm]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

stoiclymanic
Hi, I was hoping to ask some questions about FTM, as I am interested, but some of the questions are not easy to find answers to so I was hoping to talk to someone with experience or someone who knows a LOT.

If you're interested in helping me, or know someone who is, I'd greatly appreciate it! Thanks =]


 
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(no subject) [Jul. 17th, 2009|08:24 pm]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

doni_dyke01
[mood |hopefulhopeful]

I'm in need of advice, if you're willing to help. I'm considering joining Job Corps (for various reasons), possibly in Cleveland or Pittsburgh because of what I'm interested in. But, I'd like to know experiences people had with those two centers, especially if they are or aren't trans-friendly. Thank you.
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Stealth- New Name, New City [Jun. 27th, 2009|01:39 pm]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.
lightwood_lace

Hi All. I’m a longtime poster here, but with a new name for privacy/anonymity. 

Looking for thoughts/advice about stealth issues.

Here’s my story: I’m mid 20s MtF. Pass *extremely* well. Pretty much no one knows I’m trans unless I tell them, including sexual partners.  I live in a big west coast city. Have friends and acquaintances here who knew me from my transition days. Also have new friends who don’t know my history. I really like just living my life as a typical girl, and have been thinking about going deeply stealth. To me, that means changing my name and moving to a new city where no one knows me or my history. Basically starting a new life.

Although I like the city where I currently live, I hold back from sending down roots here because I don’t want my old identity to follow me around. Don’t want to build a new life as a woman, and then be outted in casual conversations between acquaintances of mine (which I’ve already experienced). I have a very unique name so I think it’s easy for people to say “Oh you know xyz too!? Did you know she used to be a guy!? Crazy Huh!”

So I guess what I’m looking for is advice and thoughts on this idea of changing name and moving to a new city. Has anyone here done such a thing? Or know people who have? Are there common pitfalls to avoid. Easy mistakes? Tips? Is it worth it? I’d be giving up a pretty sweet life here, but I feel like in the long run I wouldn’t ever feel settled in this city where so many people know me, my name and my gender history. (not that many actually, but enough to make me uneasy)

Are there any other resources you'd recommend for people considering going stealth like this? I'd love to be able to talk with people who have done this, but by virtue of going stealth, they are no longer around and visible for people like me to find and talk to.

Thanks!

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admin. [Jun. 25th, 2009|11:20 am]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

gender_euphoric
By a nearly 2-to-1 margin, trans_advice for the win. And now, back to yr regularly scheduled stuff. ps: thanks to our generous patrons. heap your gratitude on them.
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name change for group/another mod thing [Jun. 19th, 2009|02:46 am]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

gender_euphoric
I'm considering attempting to change the name of this group. I've read a lot and thought a lot over the past year or so about the slur 'tranny' and I personally don't feel comfortable using it in any way that would make it seem like I consider it neutral, non-violent, or the like. I could go on but I have no reason to word vomit here.
here are the options I see:
a) name change token, assuming one can do that with a community journal (would need $15, or more if that's increased lately. consider a small comm fundraiser.)
b) starting a new community with a different name, something like trans_advice. yeah, i know it's not catchy. ideas? --and encouraging people to go over there.
c) seeing if my co-mod would like to take over and remove myself as admin for the group.

please leave comments if you've got them. consider this post heavily moderated though.
ETA: no concern trolling. no gaslighting. no tone arguments.
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mod post [Jun. 17th, 2009|01:23 am]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

gender_euphoric
i'm not going to delete the previous post because significant conversation happened on it, but cross posts are generally not acceptable on this community. even if you phrase it in the form of a question.
also, while i have this post open, i must say i generally have a poor view of posts/journals that are veiled advertisements. i'm curious what others think, though.
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(no subject) [Jun. 15th, 2009|08:06 pm]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.

toys_for_t_boys
question:
are there any toys for ftm's that are highly recommended in your opinion?

my reasonCollapse )
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Insurance [Apr. 25th, 2009|10:37 pm]
Good and not-so-good advice about gender.
mellifluous_ink
Does anyone know of insurance companies that will cover or partially cover transition? Conversely, does anyone know how to look up what companies carry a certain insurance provider?

Edit: Please no whining about bad experiences or commisserating about how insurance companies are stupid and require us to jump through soooo many hoops. Look, I just want information. If you don't have any, skip it.


Thanks for the help and support, everyone. I've found a place to go in the area. ^_^
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